Who I am

If you could pick the clouds from the sky and eat them like cotton candy, would you? If you could lick the snow top mountains with the surprise of coating your tongue with powdered sugar, would you? If you could see the trail of a butterfly in ribbon form, would you follow it back or would you cut it?

The memories we hold within ourselves taste like the sweet candy we ate as children, look like the fireworks we saw for the first time over the lake, and feel like the warm embrace of our parents after our first day of school. We can never go back to being the children that we were and we move forward aging, looking for the next chapter. I am stuck in limbo between my childhood and motherhood, trying to build my perfect garden in preparation for my butterfly babies. I want life to be as simple as the Candyland board game that we used to play as kids. I wanted to be Queen Frostine, yet I’ve turned into Princess Lolly, sweet, genuine, and reeking of Carebear energy; seeing the world with such color-filled beauty looking for the good in everyone. I want my kids to experience the light of life continuously with the fluidity of my painted daydreams and soar like butterflies without worry. I want them to feel the wind beneath their wings and the gusts of life that blow the dandelion seeds in every direction.

I want you to feel the fairytale I’ve painted from within me and experience every vibrant moment. I want you to dance in the fields I’ve painted and soar through the wind I’ve drawn. I want you to fall into the swirls and folds that flow along the canvas. I want you to fall into it and keep falling until your face is pressed against the canvas to see each bead of paint for what it is. A moment. Analyze it with your eyes, expose yourself with bare vulnerability, and let it speak to you. Hear the work of my hand and let it overwhelm you.

It’s asking: do you feel it? And if you don’t,

Will you let me show you?